Thanks Orcus, your review has really made my day! You’re right about that scene but I’m not sure whether just to cut it or replace it with something. And I actually forgot to include his first name at some point. What a nitwit! It’s funny how you can pore over your words for hours and miss completely obvious things.
When I’ve tiddled it up a bit I’m going to submit it again. I’ve found some new competitions that I’m going to post on the other thread later. Watch this space!