- November 25, 2021 at 6:56 pm #3576PetePitmanParticipant
I wrote this a couple of years ago, confident I would get it published. But, alas, no. Can anyone explain what’s wrong with it, please.
Attachments:You must be logged in to view attached files.November 26, 2021 at 7:33 pm #3584JimTKParticipant
I didn’t understand at first but the penny finally dropped – ‘magic bullet’ – a phase often used by our politicians to mean an easy solution to a difficult problem. Except there usually isn’t. It’s an odd phrase and worthy of fictional treatment.
I was confused by the names in the beginning – they all have something to do with metal or metal process – but then caught on and liked the way you described the foundry where they work. I was wondering about the way they talked about the ‘humans’. Does that mean they were not human? More, components? The dialogue was nice and zippy although I wasn’t sure about some of the exclamations you used with metallic words. By the end, I came to recognise them as just metal-bots exclamations and not something to do with the plot.
It’s different and that’s a big plus because the reader is keen to learn more about this world and the character of Junk is a strong one. For me, the end needs more of a twist but then another reader might prefer the more subtle style.
I wonder if you have tried the right markets. There’s always a place for this kind of science fiction. There are a lot of websites that love niche fantasy. I used to have a link. If I find it, I’ll post it up here.November 27, 2021 at 11:29 am #3590JimTKParticipant
I couldn’t find the one I was thinking of but found this instead. This publisher has been around a while and offers some quite niche categories where yours might fit including ‘magical realism’ and ‘dark fantasy’.
Worth checking out…November 28, 2021 at 1:10 pm #3595HelenParticipant
Sci-fi and fantasy is not my first choice of reading but what I like about your story is that it’s a bit ‘out there’. It’s increasingly difficult to find original niches in writing themes and I think most would agree that it’s very difficult to slot your story into a recognisable genre.
I think the second part of the story where Junk is taking on the rogue bot reads much better than the first part in the factory. I was a bit confused by some of the unusual words in the first part (e.g. ‘burin’) and names of the characters and found myself re-reading them to try and understand. But you create a strong feel of factory by involving a lot of senses.
When we get to Junk there seems to be a much better plot-flow and I felt as if I was being taken somewhere bizarre and interesting. I wanted to read on to find out more about him (it?) and the outcome of his battle with the bot. I think the beach scene is well-described with the action easy to follow. Your story has a good pay-off line but I don’t think you get full value from it because it’s not mentioned until half-way through the story. I think if you imbue more importance to the magic bullet in the first scene you will get a bigger kick from the end.
Does any of that resonate?
(NB: One small literal – “It’ll be their downfall.”)
November 30, 2021 at 7:18 am #3605
- This reply was modified 5 months ago by Helen.
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